Affections and Things Left Unsaid

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately, and it tends to come up a lot in our I am Second group when it’s time to talk about our commitments for the week. It’s the issue of my affections. Where they actually are versus where I say they are.

Let me explain.

Last week I told my IA2 (that’s the cool way of abbreviating I am Second) group that I wanted to give God more of my time in the evening, so I was going to close my computer, turn off the TV, and sit and read and pray for 30 minutes. Every evening. Yeah.

Didn’t happen.

I sat down one evening in my office chair, opened my Bible, read about 3 words, and fell asleep. For an hour. When I woke up and wiped the drool from my chin, I realized something: Sitting down and being still in the late evening in my recliner when all is quiet is kind of a dangerous thing for me to do if I want to get anything done. So last night while confessing my failure to the IA2 kids, I decided to adjust things a bit.

Maybe I should start small.

Every now and then I get the feeling that I say I love God more than I act like I love God. Have you ever felt that way? Maybe I spend more time in the garden or playing video games or on facebook or... than I do thinking about God, praying, reading my Bible, telling people about Christ... Maybe I spend my money on gadgets or eating out or clothes or... than I do supporting the mission of our church. And every now and then I get a wake up call that adjusts my thinking and makes me want to return to my first love.

Because that’s what I really want.

Even though I may lose sight of what’s really important for a while and focus on myself, I can sincerely tell you that I do love God and that I want my life to reflect His character. I want my affections to be totally focused on Him. And He wants that, too. In fact, He is jealous for our affection. It’s the very first of the ten commandments in Exodus 20. “I am the Lord your God... You will have no other gods before me... I am a jealous God...” And then in Deuteronomy 6:4-5, “Hear, O Israel, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.”

So what’s the deal?

If I want my affections to be on God, and God wants my affections to be on Him, why do I find it so hard to carve out extra time for Him during the day? Well, it’s not a catch-all, but Paul says it nicely in Romans 7:13-25. Take a minute to read it. Maybe it will summarize your dilemma, as well.

By the way, my solution is to start by reading just one extra chapter outside of my lesson study time and normal quiet time. And also to take a 5 minute break every now and then when I’m working or watching TV or facebooking (yes, that’s a new verb) to refocus my attention on Christ and to let Him know how much I love Him.

Maybe that will help.