Ministry is Relationship

Jealousy

As we walked through the building I felt an overwhelming sense of jealousy. The nearly finished Student Ministry Center was huge, the lights were huge, even the soundboard was huge. The welcome center was bigger than my entire space designated for Student Ministry.

Our town has never had a church building like this one before.

I confess to you, the reader, that I am sometimes jealous of Student Ministries with bigger budgets, newer gadgets, nicer buildings, cooler youth guys... The list goes on. I have a plan for what my ministry will look like when I have those kinds of resources. If I ever have those kinds of resources.

“So, what’s your big plan for when this thing is finished?” I asked the Student Minister.

“We’re going to focus on Small Groups and creating a spirit of friendliness.” He replied.

He handed me a book by Jeanne Mayo, Thriving Youth Groups: secrets for growing your ministry & creating a friendship culture. I read it the next day.

Ministry is Relationship

A thought came to me as we were talking: Ministry is relationship. I’ve been saying this for a long time, yet I’ve always had this idea that there are things we could acquire that would “put us right over the top”. Student Ministers are known for being early adopters of technology and tactics of ministry, and I want to be known for that, as well.

Ministry is relationship. It’s not an earth shaking idea. I heard it from a pastor a long time ago. Libraries have been written about it, seminars have been presented declaring it, and committees have been established to determine how to best go about it. From the time of Christ until now, ministry is to be done in the context of relationships, if it is to be considered ministry at all.

Ministry is relationship. This statement is true no matter the generation, church size, socioeconomic class, denomination, creed, or race. Our deepest desire as humans is for connection with God, and that is best felt through connection with His people.

Ministry is relationship. I’ve been a Student Minister in Corsicana, TX for over seven years, and the students who stick, thrive, and go on to ministries of their own are the ones who form connections with other students, ministry volunteers, and other adults in the church. Even my big plan for limitless resources is dependent on and intended to foster close relationships among the students and adults who are involved in the ministry.

Looking Back

As a teenager, I was never a member of a “youth group”. I was a member of a small church with too few teenagers to be considered a “group”. But there was this one church where a few of my classmates attended where I went to from time to time. I even went on a summer trip or two with them. The group was led by a wacky college student named Wes. I remember a few of his jokes. I remember that his hair changed every time Steven Curtis Chapman’s hair changed. I remember that he loved and accepted me right where I was.

I didn’t know that he would be the influence that gave me the desire to be where I am today. Neither did he.

Wes wasn’t a superstar Student Minister. Sylvan Hills First Baptist wasn’t nearly the biggest church around and definitely didn’t have the biggest budget. The teenagers met in what was basically the attic of the church. They called it the “Upper Room”. Yet out of the Upper Room flowed a spirit of love and acceptance that drew me into a deeper relationship with the other students, and deepened my desire to get to know God to a greater degree.

What will follow is a discussion of the basics of effective, thriving ministry to teenagers regardless of budget or resources. I speak from the experience of a small church in a small town. Though practical matters may change, the basic principles of effective ministry remain the same.