Why yes, it IS love, actually.

I once heard love defined as giving someone what they need the most when they deserve it the least. Have you ever had to work really hard at loving someone? Have you ever known someone who was difficult to love, but you loved them anyway? It may have been a challenge, but wasn’t it worth it? They may have never returned your sentiments, but the love you showed them not only increased your own capacity for love, it gave you a picture of God’s love for us.

You see, our culture has adjusted our thinking about love. We have made love into a sentiment, a fuzzy feeling deep inside. So when the ooey gooey feelings go away or when difficulties come, we chalk it up to a love lost or irreconcilable differences and walk away. Or we choose to exist in a community of fractured relationships, friendships lost to disagreements and hard feelings.

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy ooey gooey feelings. I hope this doesn’t diminish my manliness in your eyes, but I really enjoy a good Romantic Comedy. Jane Austen and Lucy Maude Montgomery were two of my favorite authors before I was told they couldn’t be. For all you manly men, they were the authors of Pride and Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables, respectively.

I have these kinds of feelings toward my church. I’ve written before about how grateful I am to be here, how well you take care of me, and the way you love me and my family often overwhelms me.

I don’t mind telling you that I often have ooey gooey feelings toward my wife. Why shouldn’t I? She is a terrific and talented woman. And funny. I’ll stop there.

But what about when I’m tired? What about when the demands of work and family intersect and I feel like I have nowhere to turn? What about those times of conflict that make those positive feelings seem like distant memories? Is the love gone?

It is in these moments that love shines the brightest. It shines when we choose to love. It shines when we are patient when we don’t feel like it. It shines when we show kindness to someone who has just made us feel like dirt. It shines when we hold our tongue when we feel we have that zinger that will destroy someone and make us look better in other people’s eyes. It shines when we choose someone else’s interests over our own, when we build someone up who doesn’t deserve it. When we choose to let go of our offenses and refuse to exact revenge, but instead search for the truth and rejoice in it, that is when our love is tested and proven.

For more on love, see I Corinthians 13