Friendship

I have 613 friends. According to Facebook, that is. That’s actually quite a few. Misha and I have a running competition. When she first joined Facebook, she racked up over 300 friends in 48 hours. Now she has 643. I’ve been steadily gaining ground, looking up old friends from high school and college, and even elementary school. And the more I go to Youth Ministry events, the more I can keep catching up.

I am quite confident that over the course of my life I have been more than acquaintances with more than 613 people. There are professors, teachers, family friends, classmates, youth ministry students, etc. from my past who have yet to receive a Facebook friend request from me. And I can think of a whole bunch of people in my life right now who aren’t even on Facebook! I know! It’s hard to believe!

My mom joined Facebook a few months ago to be able to get pictures of her kids and keep track of her 13 grandchildren. She only has 53 friends. She is amazed that we have so many Facebook friends. “How do you keep track of them all?” She is flabbergasted at the idea.

She brings up a good point. I once hung out with a guy who’s girlfriend went to a movie with us once in high school. She is now my Facebook friend and has access to all my pictures and information that I have made available. I’m not really sure I would recognize her if she walked into my office at this moment. But there she is, and I call her friend.

It seems that Facebook is redefining the concept of friendship. As opposed to someone with whom we share intimate knowledge and have a good and growing relationship, a friend is now anyone we choose to allow access to our information.

And my mom is correct. There is no way, without careful and deliberate effort, I can keep track of 613 people. And I would say it is even more impossible to maintain a good and growing relationship with them.

So I’ve begun to take Facebook friends for what they are: people who have impacted my life in some way, past and present, with whom I would like to share myself in some limited way. And in return, I have an opportunity to maintain some sort of influence in their lives as well.

As I considered my mom’s question, I came to the conclusion that the point is not to keep track of everyone, but to share myself in a way that those who have access may receive some benefit. So I carefully consider my updates, the articles and videos I share, and the pictures I post with the thought of how my Facebook “friends” might be encouraged, challenged, influenced, or brought closer to Christ. Except for the ones that are just plain silly.

And just like we should maybe be doing in our non-online lives, I’ve decided to choose a few of my friends every day to pray for them and send them an encouraging note. We’ll see how long it takes to get through all 613 of them. Oops! There’s number 614!